Hey, we really want your money more than your computer (unless
it's really, really nice, in which case we may play with it for
a few minutes until the A.D.D. sets in.) We know you really, really
want your computer back. We've been there. we usually get the stuff
on the bench as soon as we can, but we don't know what is wrong with
it yet (usually). That takes time (if you disagree, tell me what is
wrong with my car and how long it will take to fix Hint: it squeaks).
If you need service today, right now, just swallow hard and cough up
the 40 bucks and we will not cease working on it until it is completely,
positively, absolutely, without a doubt, fixed. If you don't wanna be
at the front of the line, wait at least 10 days before torturing us.
Giving us that second phone number really helps. We will, really
really will (i ain't kiddin ya, really) call you the moment it
is done. Can ya handle it?
Yes. I can handle it. I don't want my underwear full of Abernician goat
I paid for priority service. I'm gonna be first! I know you will not
stop working on it and I won't bring that all to a grinding halt by
torturing you on the phone asking if it is done yet!
We used to have the notice above. It didn't work. So we had to enforce
it with the below line (Note: If you don't check the box we will still
The Skunk ain't playin! I understand that Skunk-A-Rific WILL BILL
ME A $5.00 per phone call inquiring if the system is finished
before ten days are up I consent to this and I accept the charges even
if another member of my family/business calls!
I bought priority service, and I still understand you will call me the
moment it is done and won't torture you with phone calls that seem like
a long trip with a five year-old (is it done yet, are we there yet?
Is it done yet, I have to go potty, is it done yet? I'm just checking
on the status of my computer, are we there yet?
I am gonna call you anyway. You can charge me and put fiberglass in
my underwear. (Go ahead and check it.)